Ranting from under The Holte End Stand

Before any of you lovable bastards start to rub it in, I have a few thoughts to share…
“Happy to be a Villa Fan until my dying day” are words I have sung so many times…On reflection, perhaps “happy” is not exactly the right word given the roller-coaster ride I’ve been on over the past fifty years. This past couple of months typifies what it means to be someone born under the Holte End Stand back in February 1957…
We began 2009 with league wins over West Brom, Sunderland, Portsmouth, and Blackburn, along with a dismal draw against Wigan. Apart from the fairly convincing win at Blackburn (our last win), I was not impressed by any of these performances and yet had to read and listen to, time and again, how well we were playing, how our exciting youngsters were opening defences up, and how we were closing the gap on the Big Four. I did not agree with some of this. I thought we showed, all too often, weaknesses throughout the team. We were not playing well over ninety minutes, with long periods of mediocrity every week. We were getting increasingly predictable. Sure we were closing the gap on the Big Four but this was because The Four are not as dominant as they were (Man U excepted – until yesterday’s blip). We have improved, they have gone backwards – the gap is therefore obviously closer. We still have very few players who would start for those teams and that is surely as good a measure as any when making comparisons…
On my birthday, (Feb 14th for those who may have forgotten), I spoke with a Chelsea fan and said I felt we were due our comeuppance at Everton the next day in the Cup. We were convincingly beaten 1-3. Then I wrote to a Yankee Liverpool fan and said, “Villa finishing in the top four would be a great achievement and the main goal in most fans eyes. Obviously a good run in the UEFA Cup would be excellent too. Nevertheless, as any Villa fan would tell you, we view the F.A. Cup with great reverence at Villa Park and every year the chat in the pubs of Birmingham (north side of course, not the BlueNosed south side) will contain many references to this being ‘our year’. Therefore this defeat will have been very disappointing.”…I then signed off that e-mail with, “Claret & Light Blue and excited/fearful about this weekend’s games against CSKA Moscow and then against the Pensioners – it could be a defining moment on this remarkable season – or perhaps result in the beginning of a slow slide to the predictable fifth place finish…”
Well, as I should have known, taking the fifty years under review, the latter course is slowly becoming the road we have unfortunately taken to this point. We blew sevaral chances in the home leg against CSKA, then lost to a Chelsea side not even close to their team of a couple of years ago, before being bundled out of Europe without much of a fight and under the controversial circumstances of fielding a team of virtual reserves. A  few days later against Stoke at Villa Park, despite a bright first forty-five minutes,  we then contrived to offer up a very poor second half effort culminating in two late goals for a team that will quite possibly be playing Milton Keys Dons next season. Many players looked jaded, despite that rest in midweek, and we gave up sloppy goals highlighting our defensive frailties (we really miss Martin Larsen). Then came our bogey team Man City…
I wondered if this was going to be one of those Villa efforts that drives me nuts – the ones in which we play quite well for a time, miss two or three decent chances (Agbonlahor certainly one of them), then in the middle of a poor second half display we score a fortunate goal in the 65th minute before proceeding to give the ball away for the final quarter of the game yet just hanging on to get the win. True to form, the media and myopic Villa fans would then offer more plaudits for yet another win; nobody stopping for a moment to really critique yet another performance that papered over the cracks that this team so obviously has…Or would it be worse? It was at Man City after all. I honestly felt we were going to play poorly and lose easily. We did, 0-2, and I watched in anger and despair as the first half exposed us as pretenders to a top four spot. Fortunately, the second half was much better and ultimately perhaps we deserved a point. However, we have had our fair share of good fortune for this season so we must get used to it being in short supply from now on – over the thirty eight games it balances out and the final table will not lie…
So then we get eleven days off, and a trip to Dubai which I hear is nice this time of year, before today’s match – Tottenham at home. Very winnable, one might think. We were poor once again and although my Claret & Light Blue tinted glasses would suggest a draw might have been deserved I’m sure many neutral observers would say Spurs deserved the three points…
Depressing? Too f*cking right it is. We have done very well this season. We are most probably the fifth best team, perhaps even the sixth; almost certainly not the fourth best. The final standings will make this clear. Whatever it shows, I am very pleased with our progress and look forward to it continuing over the next few years and beyond…O’Neill has done a fantastic job. The players have been excellent for the most part although some have been poor of late. Agbonlahor has been poor for ages, and Milner too. Friedel has had a good season, not a great one; the back four has been shaky since Larsen’s latest injury, Young is good but should stop falling over, Carew and Heskey are not the answer against quality central defenders, the midfield is decent – fifth best in the league perhaps? We are about the same as Everton, who may well overtake us to claim fifth if their current form continues…Nevertheless, overall it should be a marvelous time to be a Villan. Well it is and it isn’t – but that is the way it’s meant to be, and the way it’s going to be, and deep down I’m not surprised. That’s what following your team is all about, although Red Scousers, Man U, and Arse fans may not really understand this. That’s not their fault, certainly not their problem, it’s just the way it has been for far too long, I feel…Chelsea fans of some standing surely do understand – they have not been that good for most of their history. The rest of you certainly can relate to varying degrees and probably accept your lot, although Newcastle fans, and of course BlueNoses, should be suicidal at this point…
Aaarrgghh! All this moaning and groaning along with the joy and satisfaction – it’s all part of the ‘up-and-down-like-a-barmaid’s-knickers’ ride that it is to be a Claret and Light Blue fan…but what choice do I have? None – precisely…As another long-suffering Villa lad once said, “when we win it’s steak for the dog in front of the fire; when we lose the dog is outside in the rain with a bowl of water if he’s lucky.”…We have seven border collies – guess where they are?…
Keeping the Faith…Claret & Light Blue 4 Ever and trying to explain my bad mood to my long-suffering wife who doesn’t understand football but loves me and now her relaxing and contented Sunday morning has a large dark cloud over it – she must be a saint…
p.s. I just thought you should know…

A Retraction…

A month or two ago in these pages I ranted about the Setanta Sports channel and organization. Whilst I stand by most of what I said about the ‘money-grabbing” nature of that organization in its formative days when I ran the “Home of Fotball” in San Francsico – The Mad Dog in the Fog, the comments I made about the O’Rourke brothers who headed the company not being fans of the game were unjustified and incorrect. Shane O’Rourke is a Liverpool fan who knows the game well and, whilst I wish him nothing but bad luck when it comes to his team, I have always had an amicable relationship with him and hope that it may continue. He is a decent man, a good businessman, his channel is improving each season, and they currently have the best coverage of football in this country – far superior to that provided by the Fox Soccer Channel.

Claret & Light Blue and not so high and mighty that an apology cannot be made when one is owed…

Offside, cheating, and the end of civilisation…(World Cup 2006)

The offside rule which was in effect for decades worked fine. It was simple. If you were in the opponents half and closer to the goal than both the goalkeeper and one other defender, or level with him, at the time the pass was put through to you, then you were offside. (There was the vague caveat of “interfering with play” but it was very, very rarely used). The refs had a ‘black and white’ rule and they enforced it…It was easy to spot, easy to enforce, and easy to justify, with no debate about being “in the play or not”… Then FIFA, in the name of “entertainment”, stepped in and we have had controversy ever since…F*ck “entertainment”. This is sport, a mighty sport at that, and the rules should be kept as easy to enforce and, more importantly, to get correct, as possible…
“Passive offside”? – shove it up yer arse. A defender does not think it “passive” when he has to keep an eye on the attacker’s whereabouts in the corner of his eye…
The old rule may well have leant itself to negative defensive tactics (Arsenal , Uruguay, Italy come to mind) but we had far less debate and no frustration/despair at games lost on an incorrect offsides call. (Unless you were a Leeds fan in the ‘70-’71 season when W.B.A.’s Astle scored the most obvious offside goal ever and the league title was subsequently lost – remember that one? An absolute classic “Match of the Day”…But I joyfully digress)…Something must be done as this rule is hard to get exactly right every time and more and more major matches will be affected by its inadequacies…
As for all the diving/cheating, this seems to have cropped up in discussions at every international tournament for many years now. The refs have an impossible job to detect the expert con jobs performed by the players at high speed. As a fan I am often surprised when the replay shows what really occurred, or didn’t occur, in terms of contact between players. I don’t want any “video replay” so perhaps extra officials on the field would help. Not perfect, but somehow we have to get the calls right…Or perhaps the players will all get together and decide to play the game in the right spirit (?)…. “Hard but fair” was the mantra in the good old days…
Sadly yours, Stephen of Tradition City, U.S.A.
p.s. Remember when “FIFA” was some obscure group of elderly retired gentlemen you hardly ever heard of who were rolled out at big tournaments to present the trophies and medals. These days I half expect to see one of them on his own chat show….As for the FIFA Wankings – never heard of ‘em a few years ago…..
p.p.s England are the least guilty of the diving crime. Joe Cole has his moments – perhaps as a result of the club he plays for – but the rest generally play the game in the spirit it is supposed to be played in. Argentinian and Brazilian fans that I have spoken to would disagree and believe that if you can get away with “cheating” then it is o.k….F*ck ‘em…and their Portuguese buddies…
p.p.p.s Remember the Sun headlines when Maradonna announced that he would like to work as a coach in England??…In bold black type, taking up an entire page, it said, “YOU’LL NEVER WORK IN ENGLAND, YOU CHEATING ARGIE BASTARD”…Hardly subtle; certainly not p.c.; but undoubtedly expressing the feelings of millions…
p.p.p.p.s. An England v Germany final would be the best thing for the game – as long as we win of course!…Argies v Brazil? – some nice football I suppose but too much cheating and diving and very irritating that their fans may have to be informed of the score….Italy v Portugal? – god help us….

That bloody offside rule (World Cup 2006)

…In the “good old days”, when offside controversies were quite rare, Adriano would have been deemed undoubtedly offside on two occasions…I believe that even with the ‘new’ rules, he should still have been flagged twice.
With the current ‘fiasco of a rule’ in place, on the first occasion, when the ball is initially pushed forward he was considered, incorrectly in my view, only “passively offside”. This, despite the fact that the Ghana defenders move up and “trap” him offside and are thus treating him as very much “active”, as they must surely do, with him standing in the middle of the pitch about to burst upfield.
FIFA’s Blowhard Blattner explains – “a player in an offside position is only penalised if, at the moment the ball touches or is played by one of his team, he is, in the opinion of the referee, involved by: interfering with play; interfering with an opponent or gaining an advantage by being in that position” This should have resulted in Adriano been ruled offside when the ball is played forward. However, with the vagueness/grey area of “passive offsides” in effect under the current rule, the ref decided to play on despite Adriano being clearly in an advantageous position as evidenced shortly thereafter when he scores (albeit from an even more obvious offside position – not that many Brazilian fans would have seen this goal, being too busy dancing and looking at each other rather than the game)….
On the second occasion, when the ball is crossed to him from the right he is clearly offside under any offside rule ever in effect. Therefore the goal should not have counted at any point in the game’s history – unless we are playing to Samba Soccer rules which seem to apply when a match features the team with the biggest smiles, the ‘flashiest’ players, and the most bikini’d female fans. On such occasions some rules seem not to apply…
Regarding Deej’s comment about the “high line” Ghana played against the Brazilians I would respectfully suggest that there is nothing wrong with doing that if you do it correctly, as they did on this occasion, and it was only due to inefficient refereeing that they were undone…
Humbly yours, The English Curmudgeon and his Three Lions…and All Members of The Select Committee to get an extra ref out there on the field and install cameras in the goal posts giving conclusive evidence whether the ball has crossed the line or not and to introduce post-game yellow cards/suspensions for diving based on video evidence and to stop this bollocks of kicking the ball out of play when a player goes down “injured” and to go back to the old off-side rule and to the strict enforcement of both the ‘throw-in’ rule and the rule governing when a ball is out of play and to ban Portugal….and anything at all which would ensure another World Cup victory for England in my lifetime…..

Understanding Zidane (World Cup 2006)

“Enough already” (as people over here might say) with the Zidane thing. He headbutted an opponent and was therefore correctly sent off…However, after hours of in-depth research my sources have come up with a perfectly undertandable explanation for Zidane’s reaction. As it turns out he had little choice….Please read on…

Since Sunday evening the whole World has been debating what Italian
defender Marco Materazzi said to Zinedine Zidane to make the retiring
Frenchman react in the way he did. Today, with the help of Italian lip-reader Arturo Belladini, we can reveal what drove Zidane to self destruct;

Materazzi was seen to hold Zidane’s shirt on the edge of the penalty box in extra-time at which point Zidane said,
“If you want my shirt so bad you can have it”

Materazzi responded,
“I dont want your shirt you m***** f*****. you’re a f****** old man”

As they jog away Zidane is seen to laugh at this and it is unclear how
he responded due to him having his back to the TV camera

Materazzi then hit a volley of abuse
“You should’ve quit 2 years ago, you’re a f****** has-been, m***** f*****! …Your mum is a f****** muslim terrorist and you are too…F*** you old man, f*** you”

Zidane carries on jogging away but Materazzi continues,
“Old man, this arena is not for you anymore m***** f*****”
…you are only good enough for Birmingham City now”

It’s at this very point Zidane turned and head-butted him. On behalf of the Frenchman, I rest my case…..

Humbly yours, Sir Stephen Frogophile, Q.C.

Anger simmers whilst sadness prevails (World Cup 2006)

The hangover, physical and metaphorical, is subsiding slowly but it’s going to be a rough few days. England are done for another four years, although before we reconvene in S. Africa there is Euro 2008 which will see us with the highest of expectations and the almost inevitable dream-shattering results…It’s very, very hard to be an England fan – but I wouldn’t have it any other way and now all that remains is a week of wallowing in schadenfreude (spelling?) as others experience the trauma of defeat…..
I believe that this England starting line-up, despite the crap manager, had the makings of one of our best ever; certainly the best since 1970. That starting eleven was settled a long time ago and my feeling was that if they could perform to their abilities then we could beat anyone. It fell far short of that with a series of poor performances ending with only the back four producing a good display in the final match, along with Hargreaves, who was not even in that starting eleven of a few weeks ago…..
With the big three in our much-vaunted midfield, Bekham, Gerrard, and particularly the hugely disappointing Lampard, all playing as poorly as I’ve seen them over a four match spell; with Rooney not playing in his real position (back to goal is not his forte) and clearly not fully fit; with Owen injured; and with the Coles and Robinson inconsistent throughout; the “Eleven” failed to show up and we never had a chance of winning the Cup…..
Despite the better team losing yesterday we were clearly not good enough to win it all…I thought the red card was a poor decision and it changed the game. Those of you who believe that Rooney would be serving time “At Her Majesty’s Pleasure” if he was not a professional footballer, would say he had the intention to lightly caress Carvalho’s balls with his studs. You’ll probably right, and many in England have already come to that conclusion, but the ref has to be 100% and I don’t believe he could have been…So just as I thought England would take the game firmly in hand we were down to ten and it was a Churchillian, backs-to-the-wall display from then on. However, accompanied by the loud, incorrect, and incessant claptrap spewing from the gob of Marcello Baloney (confirming his position at the top of my all-time worst football analysts), we continued to have the better chances and should have put the an average Portuguese team away…..
It was not be and the inevitable penalty fiasco ensued. Despite watching this football charade with my hand firmly grasping the “Three Lion” badge on my shirt and a conviction that it was “our turn” the ‘English disease’ struck again… Pathetic penalties – very un-German of us. Game over. Shock, anger, sadness. More anger. Disappointment. What f*ckin’ World Cup? Who gives a shit now? Not me……
And certainly not those two stunning Brazilian twenty-somethings tottering around the bar in high heels and short skirts emphasizing their perfect asses for all to admire – with increasing lack of subtlety as the drinks flowed, I have to say. Again, “not me” (well, perhaps a little)…Crying and hugging at the end of their team’s defeat only resulted in my offering of a “aaahhh, what a shame – welcome to reality where the rest of us football fans reside”…Needless to say I didn’t even get a hug from the beauties when they left…..
See ya Brazil – your unexpected early exit will perhaps mean a more rational and objective view of your game as opposed to the fawning and toadying you are offered at this point. Samba soccer? – don’t make me laugh!…See ya Argies – an irrational “ha, ha, ha!” is all I have to offer you, and although you did provide some lovely stuff at times I just don’t like you…See ya Spain – you continue to lead the world, although only just ahead of England at this point, in the Greatest Underachievers League – hopefully your racist turd of a coach will get his comeuppance in some nasty way…See ya Holland – now that you seem to have taken a leaf (or large tree) out of the “Cheaters Handbook” I shall have to end our pleasant little “my second team” relationship…
I’m also sick of the antics of Italy (they’ll be at their worst/best against the hosts) and Portugal – Maniche’s farcical flop and clutching of his face after the slight brush against Ferdinand summed up this team of wankers. How perfect that at the end of the game they ran towards their fans in unison and all dove headlong on to the pitch – diving is what they do best. Naturally their fans apploaded rapturously – they appreciate a good dive and their team never fails to let them down…..
With the demise of these football powers and the prospect of a classic final between Germany and France it will hopefully mean the end of “The Beautiful Game” and a return to the “The Brilliant Sport” – a much better game I assure you!…..
Sven is done – good riddance to bad rubbish…Beckham seems to be on the way out too – he has served the team extremely well over the years…And now we have McClaren of Middlesbro’ at the helm – god help us. Four months ago his team were beaten 0-4 at home by a certain, less-than-Mighty Aston Villa. Fans threw their season tickets at him; one referred to him as a “complete footballing tosser”. Not long afterwards he is appointed England Manager. How does this happen?… Nevertheless we have some excellent players and it would take a complete footballing tosser to fail to get us into the later stages of Euro 2008…..
That’s enough of this ranting massochism. I need to resume my life…..
Steve of Fortyyearsandcountingville, U.S.A.

Come on, England! (World Cup 2006)

Footy fans….With the ‘butterflies’ already kicking in and my mind on little else, I have just a few ramblings about the Ecuador game and the upcoming match against Portugal…
I’m not sure what to think – just like most of you fellow knowledgeable football fans I am confused about the displays of my ‘heroes’ to this point…England?? What of England?????…All the comments I have read from the assembled group certainly have some validity and I have little fresh to add other than it probably can only be as a result of some or all of four things…
1 They find it impossible to play to their potential against inferior opposition.
2 They are suffering under the strain of expectation.
3 The F.A are paying a man five million a year whose main two talents are firstly to get his players confused, low on confidence and playing at the bottom of their game and secondly to be in the possession of a certain “way with the ladies”…
4 These players have been masquerading as some of the Premiership’s most talented performers and are in fact all crap…
On reflection the first three of these sound credible. The fourth I cannot accept…

I must say that before the Ecuador game I thought the line-up (4-1-4-1) might work as I’m no fan of Crouch being out there other than if we’re losing, going nowhere, and there is twenty minutes to go. True, Rooney alone up front is a gamble but I had hoped that the midfield, with Caddick playing deep in the hole behind the other four, would offer plenty of support. Silly me. As it was, Lampard and Gerrard, arguably the two best players in the Premiership this past season, just did not perform. Lampard seems to have returned to the form he offered up during his first year at SW6 when all he was good for was a decent cup of tea at half-time… The central defenders look confused, Hargreaves does not have the technique to play at right back, and I am at a loss to explain the ineffectual roles of Beckham and J.Cole…Robinson’s form in goal concerns me but hopefully he will come through in the end. A.Cole is getting better and Rooney will surely prove all the hype to be justified….
Despite all this I have to look on the bright side and say that I am still truly confident that we will raise our game when the quality of opposition demands it. This happens quite often – particularly to us over the past forty years! How ironic, therefore, if we finally produce on Saturday and lose!…Naaah…Not happening… Against the diving, sniveling, cheating, and sometimes skilfull Portuguese, I look forward to a solid performance and a two goal victory resulting in the delightful sight of that tosser of a ‘keeper crying in defeat alongside the disgraceful Figo…
Humbly yours, Stephen of Threelionsville, U.S.A….
ENGLAND!… ENGLAND!!!… ENGLAND!!!!!… ENGLAND!!!…ENGLAND!!!!!!!!

It’s never been easy…(World Cup 2006)

The England match finished about six pints ago and I’ve had time to reflect. Unfortunately, as a result of those beers my judgement may be a little impaired, although I have just driven home perfectly and didn’t run a single red light (…”but there aren’t any in Anderson Valley, Steve”)…..
Onward…Well, after a very solid first half, following the significant loss of Owen, it appeared that everyone decided to sit back and produce another disappointing display. The midfield disappeared, the back four looked scared to death at times, and Paul Robinson served up a Jamesian-like display of how not to dominate your six yard box on crosses. The naive defending which led to the Swede’s first goal was shocking and then to commit the same errors twice more was downright unbelievable…
Why isn’t there a defender at the front of the six yard box to get to the low and hard cross first and clear it away? This basic defensive ploy forces the cross to be high and looping to reach the forwards and thus far easier to deal with for the defenders and/or keeper – this is fundamental defending, something you learn for the preliminary coaching badge yet our ‘coaches’ seem to have forgotten to mention it and the players cannot seem to work it out for themselves. We could have conceded two more goals as a result…Former Claret & Light Blue, Marcus Allbeck scored the first and Villa skipper, Melberg, hit the bar shortly afterwards. It could have been Villa Old and New 2, England 1 at that point – a bit of a joke to some I would imagine…
It was an “English” display similar to many we have seen in the past – inconsistent throughout. Beckham was nowhere to be found after the break; Lampard and Hargreaves decided that the ball was a hot potato and played with little confidence in the second half, and Joe Cole, whilst still fooling some of the people some of the time with his step-over, failed to create any real chances. If Crouch is going to be out there (and it would appear that we are stuck with him now that Owen might be done for good), and thus we have to resort to the long, high ball ,then shouldn’t he win most of them at six foot f*ckin’ six??. Well why isn’t he, the lanky git??…Rooney was not a factor but you know that he scares defences and will come good soon I’m sure… Carragher, and Campbell when he came on, looked lost at times; Terry and Ferdinand out of sorts, and Ashley Cole, although producing his best performance so far, still hasn’t shown the form he displays for the Arse…..
Will we beat Ecuador?. I confidently believe that we will although many would disagree. Would we then beat the likes of Portugal? – I’d like to think so…What about Brazil? – I couldn’t possibly comment at this time…..
Forty years of hurt and counting….but only a foolish man would count us out…..
Steve and the Three Sleeping Lions…

F*** Brazil…(World Cup 2006)

I can assure you that the rest of the world is not in love with Brazil – just America is…They won in 1994 when it was played here and ever since most American ’soccer’ fans have tended to ‘love’ them and their ’samba soccer’. This continued into the ‘98 tournament which received lots of coverage here and many were very disappointed by their loss in the final to France (not me)…Of course they then won it again in 2002 and thus maintained their role as the ‘darlings’ of the American ’soccer’ fraternity/sorority…
Most ’soccer’ fans in this country always talk of Brazil when the best teams are talked about…Obviously that has validity but for a long period (24 years) prior to the ‘94 event, during which time coverage was much less over here, they quite often played badly (not even making the semis in ‘82 – great team though, ‘86, and ‘90!) and had not actually won it since 1970 (when they had arguably the best team in my lifetime and were truly fantastic to watch)…
Sure they have won the Cup on five occasions, but only (?) two of those are in the past eight tournaments – the same as Argentina and Germany in that time. (Italy and France winning the other two…England won in 1966 in case you had forgotten)…
Currently they are not playing well but they most certainly will – as will many other teams who have played poorly so far. It always happens this way in the finals but we tend to forget this during the intervening four years…I believe they will win the group, eliminate Ghana/USA winner and then win in a tough match against Spain…then ?????
Meanwhile, I reiterate what I said earlier – “they will probably win it all……..
Oh, to be Brazilian !!???…Naaahhhh!…..F*ck ‘em……”….
Steve and The Three Lions – all waiting for Sweden…..

Samba soccer? – I’d rather watch the match…(World Cup 2006)

Despite an “un-Brazilian-type performance” with little of the “samba soccer” which the rest of the world apparently admires so much, they managed to beat a solid Aussie team who matched them with their hard-work and tackling but obviously not on skill levels and all-round ability…
We were not treated to Ronaldinho’s “famous child-like smile” as often as we apparently like to be but were constantly reminded of the “pure joy” with which Brazil play the game – unlike the rest of the world who presumably find it a traumatic, tedious, mechanical exercise. Give me a break!…And what about how incredibly dangerous Roberto Carlos can be with his free-kicks – he certainly is if you are sitting in the twelfth row (and has been for some years now)….
As for their fans – “what a party they will have tonight in Munich”. I’m sure they will – just like they do during the game when they should be watching the match like real football fans. Those amongst them that can be bothered to watch and study their team’s performance would have observed that Ronaldo is playing poorly, the back four are very ordinary, and the keeper is inconsistent… However, they do have Ronaldinho, Adrianno, Ze Roberto, and Kaka and will probably win it all as a result of the wonderful play of this quartet…
Oh, to be Brazilian !!???…Naaahhhh!…..F*ck ‘em……
Humbly yours, The Curmudgeonly Englishman up in the woods…